The Americans, having disappointed me by deciding on their president too quickly for my taste, have gone back to following the fascinating story of the tattoo on the person of the new juror in the Laci Peterson murder case.
For those outside the United States fortunate enough to be utterly ignorant of this vitally important story, Scott Peterson is on trial for the murder of his pregnant wife. He allegedly killed her and dumped her body into the bay from a boat. The bay I am referring to is the San Francisco Bay, which makes it local news here. But such details as I have gleaned come from the national news. The citizenry of this great nation seems to be consumed with interest on the subject of whether it is in fact possible to dump a body from the aforementioned boat without rocking the boat so much that the person who throws it also topples over.
Now I do agree that in most cases it is wrong to murder your own wife, especially when she is pregnant. But I think that the coverage of the story has gone beyond serving any useful moral purpose, as a majority of Americans, men or women, have no inclination towards murdering their wives, especially when pregnant. I wish to inform them that they do not need to overcompensate in this way for the guilt of electing their president so quickly.
Of course, the confusing design of faucets for showers and bathtubs remains a recurring disappointment with me. In a country where you are spoilt for choices, it is surprising that no one thought of catering to the demographic that likes to turn off its shower while applying soap.
The problem, you see, is that they have two taps, one for hot water and one for cold water. Then they have another control that determines whether the water flows to the shower or to the bathtub.
So far so good. This is roughly similar to what I have back at home. But the problem flows from the fact that at home, the control that determines whether the water flows up to the shower or to the bathtub bucket is discrete, i.e. left goes to the shower, right goes to the bucket and center centre stops the flow. But here, the control is continuous, i.e. left to the shower, right to the bathtub and center to both. Why any sane person would want to turn on the flow both to the shower and to the bathtub is beyond me. But the upshot of all this is that the only way to turn off the flow is to turn off both the hot and cold taps.
Now remember that the only way to determine that the water is just as warm as I desire is by experimenting with turning the left and right taps to just the right degree. Also remember that the price of a mistake is to either bathe in scalding hot water or freezing cold water. Also remember that I bathe early in the morning, when my reflexes are not, to put it mildly, in a state of high alert.
Now imagine me having to do the required adjustments twice in one bath and you will know why the prospect of bathing fills me with dread.
Use the bathtub — fill it in and soak luxuriantly!
And welcome back.
Are you still in SFO Bay Area ? If so mail me.
You see, they did not design it with a typical Desi in mind who uses a soap (i.e. bar) – but a dude who uses Body Wash….which does not require stopping the water(well, atleast I don’t).
So I suggest you switch to the liquid and also quit being the despicable Desi who uses soap!
Why do they give me soap then?
Who ‘gave’ that you ??
err….Can I blame my key board for the typo?
Anyways, if it is a Hotel – I suggest you sue them on the grounds of reckless endagerment/intent to bodily harm.
Ah, a usability problem. I love these. Send it in to http://www.thisisbroken.com
Nilu, can I sue a hotel for recklessly endangering me by providing me with soap?
Nilu, can I sue a hotel for recklessly endangering me by providing me with soap?
No.
For that, please pretend to slip in the bathtub, pretend to sprain your ankle, and then sue the hotel for $5 million for endangering your life while it could reasonably foresee that soap in the bathtub could reduce friction and create a hazardous environment for the guests.
You’ll either win or get a decent settlement in that country.
No, I still think you can sue – not just but infact bring a class action suit.
It appears to me like…it was specifically a ploy to trick Desis’ into burning and freezing their bodies alternately, after careful planning. It ammounts to conspiracy to harm and humiliate an entire race and also remind them that they still use soap.
[...] I am sorry that I have to report that there has been no change in the deplorable state of America’s showers since I reported the problem more than a year back. It has been a daily ordeal for me to get into the shower, direct the water towards the bathtub, start the hot and cold taps, adjust both so that the water is neither scalding hot nor freezing cold and then direct the stream towards the shower. No man ought to be subject to such indignity, especially before he has had his coffee. These days, while sitting on my throne, I am struck by the same thoughts that must have occurred to many Indians – why do the Americans use toilet paper instead of washing their bums? Most explanations I’ve heard are unsatisfactory. I am afraid that this question has been insufficiently researched because funding for such topics is hard to come by. Nonetheless, I am confident that the answer has to do with the lack of warm water to wash your bum with. [...]
[...] Further pleasure – bathtubs. Unlike the infidels, the bathtubs, the taps rather, don’t have to be a puzzle. There’s no determining left, right, the angle and degree of turn, the discrete or continuous nature of the water flow. [...]
[...] readers of The Examined Life know about my deep and abiding interest in the sanitary habits of Americans. It has now come to my attention that a useful addition to the corpus of [...]