The Americans, having disappointed me by deciding on their president too quickly for my taste, have gone back to following the fascinating story of the tattoo on the person of the new juror in the Laci Peterson murder case.

For those outside the United States fortunate enough to be utterly ignorant of this vitally important story, Scott Peterson is on trial for the murder of his pregnant wife. He allegedly killed her and dumped her body into the bay from a boat. The bay I am referring to is the San Francisco Bay, which makes it local news here. But such details as I have gleaned come from the national news. The citizenry of this great nation seems to be consumed with interest on the subject of whether it is in fact possible to dump a body from the aforementioned boat without rocking the boat so much that the person who throws it also topples over.

Now I do agree that in most cases it is wrong to murder your own wife, especially when she is pregnant. But I think that the coverage of the story has gone beyond serving any useful moral purpose, as a majority of Americans, men or women, have no inclination towards murdering their wives, especially when pregnant. I wish to inform them that they do not need to overcompensate in this way for the guilt of electing their president so quickly.

Of course, the confusing design of faucets for showers and bathtubs remains a recurring disappointment with me. In a country where you are spoilt for choices, it is surprising that no one thought of catering to the demographic that likes to turn off its shower while applying soap.

The problem, you see, is that they have two taps, one for hot water and one for cold water. Then they have another control that determines whether the water flows to the shower or to the bathtub.

So far so good. This is roughly similar to what I have back at home. But the problem flows from the fact that at home, the control that determines whether the water flows up to the shower or to the bathtub bucket is discrete, i.e. left goes to the shower, right goes to the bucket and center centre stops the flow. But here, the control is continuous, i.e. left to the shower, right to the bathtub and center to both. Why any sane person would want to turn on the flow both to the shower and to the bathtub is beyond me. But the upshot of all this is that the only way to turn off the flow is to turn off both the hot and cold taps.

Now remember that the only way to determine that the water is just as warm as I desire is by experimenting with turning the left and right taps to just the right degree. Also remember that the price of a mistake is to either bathe in scalding hot water or freezing cold water. Also remember that I bathe early in the morning, when my reflexes are not, to put it mildly, in a state of high alert.
Now imagine me having to do the required adjustments twice in one bath and you will know why the prospect of bathing fills me with dread.